What happens when we choose self-love?

I was chatting with a client recently about choosing kindness and curiosity about her weight loss journey and toning down her own self-criticism.

We’re all pretty good at dissecting our actions when we’re trying to lose weight, and it usually just makes us feel worse.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned on my way to losing more than 60 pounds has been to practice self-acceptance or self-love. 

And when I say practice, I mean to treat it as a verb -- an action that I take intentionally. 

And when I say practice, I mean I have to remind myself to do it and what it sounds like. 

Self-acceptance is not my go to response when I, for example, am looking at my body in the mirror while getting dressed. 

But practicing being kinder to myself means I still hear the negative stuff that my brain throws out and then I intentionally remind myself what I appreciate about my body or the ways I’ve taken care of my body this week. 

“I feel stronger.” 

“I spent time breathing fresh air.” 

“I drank lots of water.”

Before I lost weight I assumed -- as so many of us do -- that losing weight was the answer to feeling better. 

But now I know -- deeply -- that feeling better is about more than taking off a few pounds. It’s about how we think about our lives, our actions, and what we say to ourselves about our bodies.  

All those little grunts and ughs we might say under our breath when something doesn’t fit or we feel bloated...they add up.

Part of self-acceptance for me has been accepting that the negative stuff will come up, and when it does, I’ll choose how to respond to it. 

I get to choose whether I focus on it, indulge in it, let it ruin my mood.  

Most days, I just notice it like something that’s out of place in my house. 

“Oh, that doesn’t belong there…”

I invite you to just notice this week...what thought’s out of place? 

How are you speaking to yourself?

When you notice a way that you’re not being so kind to yourself, ask yourself, “How would I talk to a friend (or to my kid) in this moment?” 

Choose that for yourself. 

Choose self-love.