Feeling all the feelings? Me, too.

It’s been an incredibly tough week to be a human. 

As a parent of school-aged kids and an educator, my heart has been broken for the victims of the violence in Uvalde, Texas. 

It’s been hard to wrap my head around the details. 

But – as a coach – what I’ve also been hearing from my clients are sentences like… 

I don’t know why I’m so tired… 

I’m not sure what to do… 

I don’t know what’s wrong with me… 

We’re all processing so much information that it’s easy to forget the impact that it has on our nervous systems. 

The information we’re consuming is triggering an emotional response that we can feel in our bodies. And this is often happening in the background of the work we’re trying to do or the conversation we’re trying to focus on.

It’s like trying to load a large piece of software on a computer that doesn’t have enough memory…and our mental capacity (our processor) is revving, looking for a space to put the data, and not finding it. 

And our conscious mind isn’t aware…so we begin to question why we’re extra tired or why we can’t focus. 

If you’re wondering why you’re feeling a bit off…here’s a simple framework that can help you feel a little better. 

First, notice what you’re feeling. Notice the sensations you feel in your body and describe them. (My chest feels heavy. My heart is racing. I’m tired…) 

Second, normalize what you observe. It’s normal that your body would feel physical sensations after hearing difficult news. (Of course my body feels off…I’ve just read a lot of negative information in a short period of time. It’s natural that I would feel affected.)

Third, neutralize the experience. Take judgment out of the equation, and remind yourself that what you’re feeling is ok. (I’m feeling the effects of a hard week, and that is ok.) 

And lastly, choose a next best thought. I’m not suggesting we quickly find a positive thought. But just one that provides a bit of ease, and is something you can practice believing. (I’m willing to rest today, so I can take action tomorrow. OR I’ll rest today, so I can help others tomorrow.)

None of us were taught how to process difficult emotions. 

It’s why some of us eat, drink, shop, or avoid when things feel hard. 

But know that you’re not alone when hard feelings come up. It’s also what makes us human – the same heart that feels love also feels grief.