Are you using your words against yourself?

A key to losing weight and keeping it off is working on what’s happening between our ears – on our thinking. 

Many of us have patterns of thinking – ways of talking to ourselves – that aren’t helpful. 

So, step one is to tune in and notice what we say to ourselves. 

We want to become neutral observers of the words we use to speak to ourselves. 

Using compassion, we work on observing our words, and staying neutral. We suspend judgment. 

As we gather this information – this data, we can decide if our self talk is helping or hindering our efforts to lose weight. 

In her book “Words to Eat By” Karen Koenig shares a few patterns to look for when weeding out self-talk that hinders our progress. 

1. All or nothing thinking – if we start our sentences with “I’ll never” or “I always” we’re often heading into an either/or situation that expects us to always behave in a certain way. And when we don’t…we can begin to judge our actions. 

1. Moralistic thinking – using terms like good or bad in reference to our eating, body size, or taking better care of ourselves carries a judgment that isn’t useful or necessary. I’m sure you’ve heard friends talk about how “bad” they were last night because of what they ate or you might find yourself justifying weekend eating because you’ve been so “good” all week. Good/bad language can also make us feel childish and set us up for wanting to rebel against the choices we’re calling good. 

1. Impulsive thinking – When you tell yourself that you can’t control a desire, you leave yourself little room for free will or making a different choice. This might include phrases like “I can’t have sweets in the house” or “I have to eat dessert.” With a focus on the impulsive behavior in our thinking, we almost ensure we indulge in it.

A good first step in addressing all three of these areas is to just start to notice when you use never/always, good/bad, or impulsive phrases. 

Next week, I’ll share more strategies on how to reframe these thought patterns. 

For now – know that they’re 100 percent normal. 

We can’t change what we can’t see – so just start looking and see what you notice. 

And if you want some help with starting to work on your own thinking, that is my jam – let’s chat.